Tuesday 21 June 2011

My worries....

Been feeling worried about everything.....
Firstly, Poochi's skin problem is worsening and its been really bugging me. The vets we have all seen had given up hope on him, saying its a mystery and we tried ALL sorts of medications and treatment and still we cant find out what exactly is causing him the skin problem. I had given up hope, I have tried my very BEST and I just feel that Poochi is slowly draining my life out of me. Isnt its so ironical, he is the very thing that stop me from going crazing in this boring place but he is also the one driving me crazy with his skin problems....
Maybe we really need to bring him to the skin specialist (there's actually a skin specialist for dog!) here and its the last resort we can think of even though it is going to cost us a BOMB. 
I will check his skin everyday, sometimes its good and sometimes its worsen. My mood worsen together with his condition. I check his ears for odours, cleaned his face, fed him his fave fruits (apples) everyday. My life basically evolved around taking care and cleaning for him everyday....I felt like a maid to him sometimes, like he is the master and I am the dog. Sighz...I gave him the best food, best toys, best care I can possible afford. But when people see his skin problems, they thought I have neglect my dog. IT MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL!! They have NO idea how much time, effort, money and love I have poured into this dog!! I loved Poochi more than anything else and it pains me to see he has this mystery incurable skin problem for so long. I don't even have a life because of him! I used to rush back home everyday after work to feed him. How I wish I can go out with my friends and chill out over dinner after work instead of having to rush home and feed him. I have lost my social life because of him. But its a sacrifice I am willing to make since I have the responsibility to take care of my dog. But I cant make his skin problems go away, think only God can do that now. Is God even out there? Even though I am in this so called 'Holy Land', I dun feel the presence of God here at all.

Recently become interested in sewing, thinking of passing time here by sewing some fabric crafts here like bags, toys, cushion covers etc. Been ordering some fabrics online from US and Japan to be shipped here. There are a lot of very nice fabrics out there, like this website www.fabricworm.com
Hopefully my fabric shipments will arrived and not get lost in the mail.
I'm depressed, doing time here is hard. I watched this show on Nat Geo channel today about criminals doing time in prison. I dont know why I watched that, I was juz flipping through the channels one by one and it juz caught my attention.Maybe I can relate to how they feel....

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